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Clean up on aisle 512!

Laying in bed this morning, I set my intention for the day. "I want to be free of resistance today," I thought. And then it occurred to me, THAT thought was, itself, full of resistance. It's a negative, like I'm a prisoner struggling to be rid of something. "I want to be free of, no, I want to let go of, no, I want to..." I had a hard time deciding HOW to phrase this intention/prayer. How to phrase it so it's positive?

That's when it occured to me that the WORD "resistance" is, itself, laden with overtones of guilt and shame and "you dumb cluck, what's wrong with you?" I had to chew on that idea for a moment.

So, I thought, what IS "resistance?" It's the emotional gut-reaction, that feeling of an anxious knot in the belly, the shortness of breath, the spring-board to an OCDC compulsion to rehearse stuff that's either taken place in the past, or is one of the millions of possible paths you MIGHT take in the future. So, why don't we just call "resistance" something else, something without an emotional charge to it? Call it Louise?

Nah, Louise is too personal sounding. (Yes, I really DO have weird thoughts like this.) Give it a number. How about Status... uh, don't want to call it Status One, that sounds like it's too big of a priority. Maybe Status Three. Nope. That's still too big of a priority. Status Ten? Maybe TEN is the high end of the scale... oh, lawdy... no wonder I meet resistance.... let's just give it a really ambiguous number that I just pull out of thin air... lessee.... 512. That's a pretty generic number, no emotional charge to it. OK. 512 it is.

I realized that belly-knot is my signal that I've hit resistance-turbulence. That's REALLY all I need to know about the moment; don't need to analyze WHY I'm feeling resistance or getting the microscope out to do a molecular study of all the components about it. I figure if I just think about resistance (excuse me, I mean Status 512), as a little inadvertant spillage that needs to be cleaned up instead of some friggin' DISASTER, then maybe I can keep it in perspective. Just hold the AWARENESS of when a "thought clean-up" is in order.

Keep in mind I've been thinking about this all day, and I believe this mental plan-of-action came to full fruition while I was shopping at the grocery store. So every time I feel a little bit of a belly-knot, that indicates I've got a Status 512, and we need a little clean-up... I can hear the grocery store intercom saying, "We need a clean-up on Aisle 512"... no big deal. My intention, my prayer is: "Help me NOTICE Status 512 when it happens so I can clean up my thoughts as it happens..."

The AMAZING thing is... this is REALLY working. Grocery shopping, "Oh BOY! Buying food, so I can cook dinner and eat!" I found myself actually looking forward to it. "Oh BOY! There is enough money to buy food with!" "Oh BOY!" I couldn't believe how many times I'd feel the bump of that belly-knot, be able to notice it, then do my mental clean-up work, and feel the knot dissolve right away.

I'm REALLY excited about this as a tool. I've got me my mop and am keeping an eye on Aisle 512!


Abraham and me

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